“The greatest gift anybody can give themselves is getting over the fear of being embarrassed.” - Jesse Itzler

I recently stumbled upon a powerful message by Jesse Itzler, an entrepreneur and co-founder of 29029, that deeply resonated with me. He said, "The greatest gift anybody can give themselves is getting over the fear of being embarrassed."

In a recent blog post, I shared my experience at Summit Push, a trial run I participated in to prepare for 29029 - an endurance hiking event. Participants had 12 hours to climb Snowbasin in Utah as many times as possible, hiking up and taking the gondola down. My first ascent was manageable and fueled by adrenaline. On my second ascent, my mind began to rebel against me. I questioned my actions and doubted my abilities, and it became overwhelming.

I firmly believe that we must highlight the impact of negative self-talk. When we consistently criticize ourselves, our minds actively seek evidence to confirm those beliefs. I certainly excelled at doing so.

I encountered a significant challenge during my fifth ascent with only 2 hours remaining. Due to a lack of understanding about proper fueling and hydration, I struggled with exhaustion and breathlessness. As I approached the summit, I could hear Colleen Rue, the Voice of the Mountain and the world’s biggest cheerleader, encouraging the finishers. Feeling defeated, I realized that I wouldn't make the cutoff. I made a bold decision – I deliberately slowed down even more. I didn't seek cheers, as I could barely motivate myself. I didn't want to be pitied while attempting to cross the finish line. I felt like an imposter in a world that wasn’t mine. I believed that by slowing down, I could cross the finish line in solitude and avoid embarrassment.

When I returned to my hotel room that night, I strongly considered canceling my registration for 29029 because I was convinced I wasn't good enough. Looking at the calendar, I realized less than three months were left until the event. However, a voice inside me whispered, "A lot can happen in that time." It then asked, "Did any good come from this experience?" Upon reflection, there was no doubt that the answer was yes.

• I climbed that mountain five times, for 11,550 feet of elevation and 11.5 miles. For someone who has never done anything like this, that's pretty good. I need to stop comparing myself to others.

• I learned that I need to focus on fueling and hydration. Participating in this event opened my eyes to the importance of caring for my body. I committed to finding a nutritionist and taking the necessary steps to improve my fueling and hydration. It's all about progress, and I was ready to embark on this journey to a healthier me.

• I learned that people are ready and willing to support me. Asking for help doesn't show weakness; it's a display of strength and vulnerability.  I need to embrace the support around me and allow others to help guide me through life's journey.

• I learned the importance of celebrating my accomplishments, big or small. Stepping out of my comfort zone was a significant achievement, and embracing discomfort has taught me some of life's biggest lessons and brought me some of my greatest joys.

There are so many reasons why the fear of embarrassment can be a big deal for someone. For some, it might be because of things that happened to them in the past, like being bullied or humiliated. Those experiences can stick with a person and affect how they feel. I can relate to this because I was bullied as a child.  It was tough, and I carried those memories into adulthood.  The fear of being judged or made fun of by others and the physical feelings, like getting red in the face or feeling sick to your stomach, can be hard to deal with. The fear of embarrassment runs deep and is intertwined with our fundamental human needs for acceptance, connection, and self-worth.

Ever since that Summit Push, I have not let the fear of embarrassment get the best of me. When I start feeling fear creeping in, I quickly push it away and focus on the good and the potential for greatness. Jesse was right. Overcoming the fear of being embarrassed has been the best gift I have given myself. By pushing past fear, I have experienced growth and empowerment. Let me tell you that there is nothing better than the feeling of knowing you stood up to fear, even when the outcome is not what you hoped for.

Jesse has also said, “We define success around the outcome of our journey.  Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t, but I’m proud that I put myself in a position despite the fear, despite not having it all figured out or being the best on the field.  If you want to do exceptional things, you have to put yourself in exceptional situations.” 

It took me over fifty years to finally reach the point where I wasn't afraid to do exceptional things and stop fearing embarrassment. Jesse's words remind me that it's never too late to embrace discomfort, push past my fears, and pursue exceptional things. They are a testament to the power of perseverance and courage.

MOUNTAIN MINDSET:

Have you ever wanted to try something but held yourself back due to fear of embarrassment? Whether running a 10k or attempting to hike the equivalent of Mt. Everest in 36 hours, remember that success is not just about the result but the determination to step outside your comfort zone. Be willing to put yourself in an exceptional situation, push past your fears, and pursue your dreams, regardless of the outcome. By doing this, you can achieve extraordinary things!